Tuesday, December 4, 2007

#17 - A Parable of Foreign Policies

Once up a time...

Three people lived in an apartment, Isolationist, Interventionist, and Non-Interventionist. Non-Interventionist spent most of his time balancing his checkbook and hanging out with friends and was very easy going. Interventionist was high strung and lived a lavish life and had many credit cards with which he'd buy his friends gifts which he'd leverage for favors, his friends didn't like him much but they sure loved all the gifts. Isolationist hasn't been seen since he soldered his door shut in mid-80's with his fruit plants.

One day a group of some people moved in to the apartment across the hall. Interventionist and Non-Interventionist went over to greet their new neighbors. As they entered the bare bones apartment they noticed all the rooms were exactly the same, same paint, same beds, same everything! They both realized that their new neighbors were socialists. After giving them their house warming gift Non-Interventionist went home to budget for next month.

Interventionist now had a plan up his sleeve, he invited the socialists over to play on his new PS3 which he put on his new credit card from Sentrol Bank. He told the socialists if they wanted a turn at playing his PS3 they'd have to give up socialism which offended them and they stormed out of the apartment. In fear that the socialists would try something he had his friend, Seeyahay, sneak into the socialists apartment and plant cameras so Interventionist can keep an eye on them. Seeyahay then went back planting drugs on the apartments to the south and blackmailing many of the residents of these apartments.

The socialist got super upset when they found out about Interventionists intrusion to their abode and decided to take action by throwing a rock into his window. Interventionist wasn't going to stand for this and went and charged some real expensive gun to his sentrol bank card which he gave to his new friends, The Fascists, they all knocked down the door and shot up the socialists. The fascists all began to fight among themselves and it became an all out feud, all of them constantly asking Interventionist for bigger and bigger guns. In exchange, Interventionists said they'd have to follow his rules once the feud is over, they agreed.

eventually the Fascists got tired of taking orders and dealing with crap from interventionist and they began to plan an attack which interventionist found out about. He tried to go buy a security system to protect himself but had maxed out his credit with Sentrol bank and they repossessed everything he had including his guns. The Fascists then all went and payed Interventionist a visit and now Non-Interventionist had to put out a new ad for a roommate. His new roommate was protectionist, he kinda stayed to himself, but he'd come out and play occasionally.

One day protectionist came by and saw Non-Interventionist with his gamecube and asked him what he thought of it. "It's not quite as powerful as my old roomates PS3, but it has a lot of great games and it fits my budget" he replied. The more protectionist started to hang out with Non-Interventionist the more open to friendship he became until they were both on the same page, same thing happened with the fascists and the remaining socialists. They all loved Non-Interventionist for his respect of their autonomy and his ability manage his funds and still live fairly well. They all began to aspire to be like him and adopted many of his principles over time.

One day they all decided to find out if isolationist was still alive and break down the door, when they did they found repulsive smell as this man with a long beard sat in a dark lit room with his Commodore 64. Isolationist didn't have much to say cause he forgot how to talk, and still though his C64 was advanced technology. The gang just turned around said hello, and went on their business.

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